Thursday, August 6, 2009

Conspiracy in the Kurds

Believe It Or Don't - Hiking In Kurdistan With Lee Harvey Oswald
OK, I've always been a sucker for conspiracy theories. It is probably always wise to believe that the government (any government, ours or theirs) is not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

For example, there is a major freakout going on about the three American "Hikers" who accidentally wandered across the border with Iran while hiking in northern Kurdistan. The evil Iranians have seized the three innocent American hikers and are holding them on trumped up charges of illegal entry into Iran.

Sounds outrageous, right? Poor innocent American hikers, being oppressed by crazed fundamentalist Republican Guards. Where is old General Jack Ripper, now that we really need his kind of straightforward strategic thinking. Warm up the B-52s, but this time send them to blow Iran back to the Stone Age, eh?

But... wait a minute... what in the freaking hell would any sane person be doing taking a trip to northern Kurdistan to go hiking in the mountains on the border between Iraq and Iran. Isn't there, like, still some serious shit going down in that unlucky place? Suicide bombers blowing up police stations, markets and mosques?

Is that the place where you would decide to go on a back to nature hiking trip in the Year Of Our Lord 2009?

Not me, brother. Something about this one sets off my bullshit alarm. This one has conspiracy theory written all over it. So... is it maybe possible that these so called "hikers" just might be CIA agents trying to infiltrate their way into Iran across a poorly defined border between Iraq and Iran in an area where the central government of Iraq has little or no control? Go on Travelocity and see what kind of luck you have getting a round trip airline ticket to freaking Kurdistan.

... and while we're at it, do you believe that the Warren Commission really got it right when they fed us the "lone gunman" explanation for the assasination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963? Most of the guys who served on the Warren Commission are long dead. So... who really did it? The guy on the grassy knoll? the Mafia? Fidel Castro? The CIA? The KGB? Hagbart Celine?

There is at least one guy from the Warren Commission who is still alive. That would be Senator Arlen Specter, the honorable Senator from Pennsylvania. Senator Spector claims that the whole thing was all on the up and up. Sure, the lone gunman is the logical explanation... Lee Harvey Oswald... no really... it was just this one nutcase, no conspiracy at all...
Now try to work Jack Ruby into your lone gunman theory... Hmmm... small time wise guy who ran a joint for the mob... so who was he? Just a pissed off patriot who was somehow able to waltz into Dallas police headquarters, walk right up to the guy who supposedly killed the President of the United States and put three rounds into him from close range? Let's ask Senator Spector about all of this at his next reelection campaign news conference, eh?

You don't have to be a Weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

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